the fasting month

ramadhan is back y'all. it is a fasting month! everybody has to fast! no matter whether you are a boy, a girl, a father, a mother or even a grandmother or grandfather. to some people, the month of ramadhan is the time for diet or to save up some money. but i found it likewise. i think im getting fatter because i ate a lot when i "berbuka puasa" and also because every time after sahur, i would straight away go to sleep. i think that contribute more to my weight gain. as for my money, i keep wasting it every time i go to bazaar by buying too much food because of the feeling hungry where i want to every thing that i saw at the bazaar. i know it is wasting my money and also the food but when you are hungry, every thing also you want to eat. and also i will buy not one type of drinks, but 2 types. that only cost around rm5. crazy! the food? sometimes i am able to spend more that rm10 at bazaar. it looks like i need help or motivation to make me stop both. that might help maybe i know how to spend wisely and therefore my money will be enough for a week.

besides that, during the ramadhan is where we should start to "beribadah" a lot because this is the time for us to make up what we have neglected all a while ago. such as go to terawikh, tadarus al-quran, berzikir a lot, try pray 5 times a day(which i hardly manage to do it and i dont know why), stop saying bad words or gossipping. and guess what, i never manage to do all that either in this fasting month. i am ashamed of myself for not able to do all that. it is like, i prefer more to worldly thing than the religious thing. i should try to cover all that but it seems like hard. it is like i always manage to find excuses in order to not do all the things that i have said above.

enough of that. let me talk what i love the most about ramadhan. it is where i got to eat together with my family. i wish could do it all the time but somehow, i can hardly do it. first, because i only managed to go home during the weekend and sometimes i didnt go home at all the entire week. and secondly, well let just say, it is because of my personal family problem. i dont think i need to explain what it is. it is just that, it is not easy for all of my family members, to be in one table and "berbuka" together. it is only during the ramadhan we managed to that. on top of that, my mom will cook all my fvourite dishes whenever i came home for "berbuka". and it is delicious and yummy and there are a lot of dishes. it is like im having a buffet at my own house. hehe... that is why i like to go home and "berbuka". it is free and it is mom's cooking. who doesnt like their mom's cooking right? and that is also why i cant never managed to lose weight.

but, as a girl there will be a time when i cant fast. it is not like i want to, but i have to. that will be the i hated the most. because i have to "ganti" it later and also, i feel bad to eat when all my other friends are fasting. sometimes i tried not to eat, and i will only drink but somehow i am tempted to eat. haih. poor my friends. they say they dont mind that if i ate in front of them but i always will eat it in my room. i feel so guilty! plus, it is a sin to eat in front of others who are fasting. i feel so lonely when i have to eat alone. i have no one to share food with me.

but, this fasting month, it is fun to "berbuka" with all my friends. well, we will go to bazaar together and we will be so undecided together to think what do we want to eat as we are all feel hungry together. and we will share our food together and we will eat until we cant eat anymore that we feel so sick and tired to do anything else but sleep. i like that moment. we will be so "kecoh" and enjoy our food together.

ramadhan..ramadhan..
bulan beribadat...
im still hoping to manage to do all the "ibadah" thing that i've listed above..
hope i can..