Journal entry no 6 ( I miss her already)

Everytime I look at this picture, I feel so sad because I wonder when will I meet her again. This is my best friend in this whole wide world. Her name is Iylia Elena and she was my classmates when we were form 3 and we were still close when we were no longer classmates in form 4 and 5. But not everybody knows that she is actually a year younger than me (She skipped from standard 3 to standard 5 because of PTS). The first time I met her was when we were form 1. We both studied in SMK Aminuddin Baki. We both were in class 1 Cekal and I was sitting behind her. We hardly talked in class and I never really knew her that time because I transfered to MRSM Serting a month later. But I transfered back to SMK Aminuddin Baki when I was form 3. It was like a fate or something, I was brought to class 3 Cekal and I remembered all of them who were my classmates for a month during form 1 and so were they. This time didn't sit near Iylia but we were in the same row and eventually we started to hang out together and we became so closed. We also found out that she lived nearby and that made me always go to her place whenever I was bored. Well, those were the days.

This picture was taken about a year and a half ago. We were at the Hang Tuah's LRT station waiting for the train to Ampang to go home after spending most of our day at Bukit Bintang, Sungei Wang and also Times Square. It was 4 days before i went back to Shah Alam for a new semester and she was getting ready to go back to UTP, where she is currently studying right now. We decided to hang out for the last time because we hardly met each other as both of us were busy with our studies and she is studying in UTP Perak while I'm in UiTM Shah Alam. We wanted to spend a quality time together to make up all the times that we have missed; especially birthdays.

We share the same month of birthday which is September and her birthday is 3 weeks earlier than mine. She is on the 7th September and mine is 21st September. We are both Virgo Lady. People always said that we cannot be friends with someone who has the same star as us because we are so similar that we cannot stand each other. But, it is different between me and Iylia. We can get along very well even though we drive each other crazy sometimes, but we still love each other. There were three of us that day. And the third person, who is not in this picture is named Ummi. She is one of my closest friends and she was the one who took this picture for us. This was the last time we met until this recent raya. It had been almost a year that i had not met her and thank god for raya!

Even though she is a year younger than me, the way she thinks, the way she talks and the way she dresses herself, does not show that she is younger than me but she is actually much more mature than me. I am so impressed with her as she can cope with anything such as pressure and she still can do well in her studies and also her social life and be happy at the same time. She still managed to have fun and enjoy her life. If it was me, I will be like a zombie with no face expression and being moody for the whole day or even week. Iylia is so bubbly, friendly, cute, nice, intelligent, understanding, open-minded, and there are so many other things to describe her. She is what she looks like.

Having her as a friend, makes me feel that I will never be left alone. She is always there for me and she has never let me down, yet. But I know that she will never do that. We have been friends for about 6 years and it is still strong and it'll be stronger. She and I are a little bit similar in some ways. We both love to shop and we have the same taste on clothes, shoes, bag or handbag and even accessories. We have bought several things that are the same and we did not buy it together. Coincedence? I don't know but that is one of the example. We also have the same taste in music and also in most of our point of view on something. And sometimes we even "bluetooth" what we were thinking in our heads! And only she who gets my jokes. haha..

I already miss her even though I just met her a couple of weeks ago. She'll be having her practical end of this year which means it'll get harder to meet her than it is right now. We have planned so many things to do before she starts her practical and I hope that we could manage to do it all.

Being just me

Being just me.

I've tried my best,
Just to please you,
But you still don't see me,
What do you want me to do,
Just to make you see me?

I decided to be just myself,
Because I'm tired,
Of being someone else,
Of being someone with no identity,
Of being someone that has never been seen,
Or even appreciated,
By someone like you.

I decided to be myself,
Because it is easier,
No more lies,
No more 'plastic',
No more pleasing you,
But me.

I don't care if you still don't like me,
Now people see me as I am,
And I am happy,
That they happy,
To see me being just me,
If you hate me for that,
There's nothing I can do,
But feeling sorry for you,
For hating me being myself,
And everybody loves me for me.

A poem from my best friend

Of You and Me

Do you hear that sound?
It is the sound of the sea,
Do you remember that day?
It was only the four of us,
The Inseperable Ones,
That was what they called us.

We were having fun,
Enjoying our last time of freedom,
Before any of us lost it,
To be together,
To cry together,
To laugh together,
To be happy together.

What happen now?
Where are you?
All of you,
We were inseperable,
But now?

This picture,
It is the last memory I have,
Of you and me,
Of us,
I want new picture,
For a new memory,
Of you and me.

A poem to my best friend

Dream.

3 days and 3 nights,
I was alone,
I was stranded,
With nothing but only myself.

I was scared,
Nobody was there,
I cried and cried,
And I was still there,
Only the sun, the moon and stars were there for me.

I woke up,
With the sound of the waves,
the smell of the ocean,
and the sand under my feet,
It felt so different,
I felt calm,
No longer scared,
But contented.

I miss those days,
The feeling of being alone,
But happy and free,
It is what I longing for,
It is my dream,
A dream that never came true.

Forget me, Dear Nad

Please..

Don't even try to know where I am now,
I'm trying tp forget the past,
You should too.

The past is all about the pain,
And I can't bear it anymore,
Remembering you would only hurt me,
I'm no longer the person that was in the picture,
I was happy before.

Having you was the best thing happened in my life,
But life is not a fairy tale,
So please...
Stop looking for me,
Forget me,
Forget the person you've known in that picture,
Just forget me please,
It is not worth it to dwell in the past,
You should know better.

So please,
There is nothing more I can say,
Just please.

To my dear old friend..

Remember..

It was 20 years ago,
I still remember,
It was a happy place,
That everybody will be,
And there he was,
Dancing and smiling,
all alone-covered in white.

I was always there,
looking and smiling and laughing at him,
the way he danced,
the way he grooved,
he didnt even care,
when everybody was looking.

I miss those days,
when everybody had fun,
he was there,
to entertain us,
i wonder
did he remember us?

Hey Ms PINKy..

Hey Ms PINKy..
wherever i go,
i will always think of you.
you are the best among others,
and you keep me warm,
whenever i'm with you.


Your smell,
it comforts me,
Your touch,
it make me calm,
The walls,
they know me,
they know all my secrets,
they listen to me,
and it is the only place where i feel safe.

Oh Ms PINKy,
i think because of you
you have made me become a sleep lover.